NITHYANANDA - Ex-members Sharings

Thanks to the author and others who are commenting their experiences and thoughts with the purpose of helping out others. Please do keep sharing. I have just lost my job, money, health and peace of mind with all these happenings. But many say they have lost their married life, relationships and whole lot of many more things. I'm feeling sorry for those and ofcourse for myself. I pray god to get our peace of mind back and make us stronger.

I have seen nithyananda  arrogance, pride, ego, need for excess of money for all the programs (I haven't had the chance to attend IA, LBE programs because of money and long vacation requirements) several times when I have been a participant and volunteer. The very first time I noticed his arrogance (if i can say so based on my perception) was when a participant in Oklahoma City program asked him 'How can he rate about the movie 'Lagaan' since he says he has renouced everything and without having access to money and not having chance to watch movies'. nithyananda continuosly tried to torture the participant with his replies for the entire session. (But I also noticed that he is being kind at the end of the session ?!) I haven't really liked much about putting malas with this pictures, bracelets and saying Nithyanandam to everyone, marketing to several people even when doing the programs. Once some once persisted me to do a paada pooja which was for $2000. I was pushed so strongly by a sincere inner circle devotee, but my mind for some reason didn't accept. Many a times, I have questioned why the programs has to be so expensive as nithyi's  himself says he has got his spiritual experiences without cost. I have even asked him directly once in a volunteer meeting, but was diverted with his answer somehow. But i didn't care for them a whole lot, as i gave more importance to make my spiritual understandings better than giving attention to those trivial things and rituals.

But my spiritual mind which has seen the peace through the meditation (LBP, ASP, NSP) still needs more convincing is basically asking for more evidence and proofs on these allegations. I'm trying to follow closely this blogspot to educate myself, I check this blog almost every day.

I'm reading and keeping on hearing that Dharmananda is trying to call ex devotees  to insist on the truths by giving them the proofs. I'm just wondering when would the common disciple(who has benefitted from the meditations and teachings but still not sure about what's going on, what's right/wrong?) get the evidences apart from the video with Rxxxxx  in youtube?  My sincere request would be keep asking ex devotees to keep sharing their experiences. Any close disciple and devotee would relate to the experiences other devotees sharing as we have all gone through the same setup and protocol. I'm still thankful for someone who gave half of the cost ($300) for one of the programs, since I went all the way to the program in US but couldn't pay the full money. I'm thankful for many devotees and many of nithyi's  teaching and mentally going through a lot of pain after all these bad news and messages coming out.

Please help me and other people in confusion to get more clarity! And I keep staying this to Dharmananda and others who are doing these brave acts, "please stay safe"!

I believe I'm still in illusion. From an NRI participant who has been very serious disciple (bot not an inner circle to know more truth) spending a lot of time, money and dedication for the mission and programs. I'm ready to share many of my bad/good experiences if required by keeping my anonymous nature. 

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