Current Slapper: Hello and welcome to another episode of ‘Electric Encounters’ coming to you live from the serene locales of Café Mokka. I’m your host Current Slapper (no relation to Karan Thapar.) Today we have with us the spiritual fountain of India, the man who knows the art of blissful existence, the one and only Paramahamsa Swami Nithyananda, or shall we call him- THE GURU of…
Swami: Now now Mr.Current, I think everybody know what sort of a GURU I am.
Current Slapper: Yes, of course! Hello and welcome to our show Swamiji.
Swami: Thank you, Current. By the way did you know that your name breeds a form of violence, which is wrong and prohibited according to Sanathana Dharma?
Current Slapper: You mean ‘Slapper’?
Swami: Of course, my child. That is a form of violence which is not allowed in Sanathana Dharma.
Current Slapper: What is this, er, Sananthana Dharma Swamiji?
Swami (gets a bit fidgety before answering): We are gathering evidence and it will soon be handed over in the court.
Current Slapper: Excuse me swamiji?
Swami: Oh, Sorry. I thought this was the courtroom. I still have the hangover of that trial, you see. This was the only answer I gave during my interrogation and during the trial.
Current Slapper: Aah yes! Coming to the trial and the events preceding it, what do you have to say about all these allegations, especially the one about your illicit affair with actress Radhika?
Swami: You are grossly mistaken my child. The affair was with Ranjitha.
Current Slapper: Aha! Caught in your own words swamiji! That was a ‘booby trap’ I set to catch you. Not very different from the one set by Ranjitha herself! <Self supporting little chuckle> So you do admit to this relationship?!
Swami: Of course. We were in one of my relation’s ships. It was my uncle’s actually. He gave it to me as a gift a long time ago. I’ll show it to you sometime.
Current Slapper: I meant about the relationship that you and Ranjitha had and what you admitted to!
Swami: I’m afraid I don’t know what you are talking about, child.
<Swami goes into a meditative trance. >
Current Slapper: Speak up Swamiji. What do you have to say to your other devotees, especially the ones of the fairer sex, who feel cheated by this affair of yours?
Swami: <Deep intake of breath> I request them to be patient. Their turn will come soon…er… I mean their turn at experiencing justice.
Current Slapper: Very well. Now, coming to your childhood days, what was the first vision which enlightened you and made you choose the spiritual path?
Swami: It is a very interesting story actually. It happened when I was 15. During one of my routine hours of meditation on a hillock, I happened to witness the mating of two rats. That was the first vision I had. It aroused me, I mean, it aroused something in me. That was the day I decided to divest my earthly vests and interests.
Current Slapper: Vests?
Swami: Of course! Haven’t you have seen the videos?
Current Slapper: Videos?
Swami: Yes. Of my satsangs where I have nothing but a few saffron robes on. You were thinking of the other video, weren’t you? Naughty boy you are!
Current Slapper: Well, er, not really sir. But coming back to the point; Fascinating! So rats were an inspiration. And what was your occupation before this moment of illumination?
Swami: I was a barber. <A reminiscent smile>
Current Slapper: Why the smile, Swamiji?
Swami: My occupation, in fact, was a source of enlightenment as well.
Current Slapper: Could you please elaborate on that?
Swami: You see child, when I was a barber I used to be responsible for the hair style of so many people. But I soon realized that how much ever I styled others there was no way that I could style myself. For this I had to depend on another barber. That irked me and was one of the main factors responsible for my transformation into a SELF STYLED GODMAN!!
Current Slapper: How inspiring! But why do you call yourself GODMAN? Don’t you think it is for the public to give you that title?
Swami: Of course. That’s why I publically gave myself that name.
Current Slapper: No sir. I mean, shouldn’t it be given to you by the public?
Swami: Of course. In fact, they were partly responsible for the title. You see, they believed that I was a MAN and I believed that I was GOD. So, in the end I declared myself GODMAN satisfying myself and the public.
Current Slapper: That’s one way of putting it! But in a recent press release I read a statement made by you that you are impotent and hence not a MAN…
Swami :< Triumphant smile> so what does that leave us with?
Current Slapper : < with a look of sudden realization dawning on him> GOD???
The café is filled with blazing light and a hallow rises above the head of our guest. Current Slapper and the other crew members are speechless with shock and fall at the feet of Swami who goes back to his trance…chanting a few choice verses of Sanathana Dharma…
Current Slapper: So there you have it folks! An ‘uplifting’ experience! Swami Paramahamsa Nithyananda in all his glory. Here’s food for thought, with Swamiji admitting that he is not a man, is he the new ‘Baba She-gal?’ Chew on it. Until next time, this is Current Slapping signer off. I mean Current Slapper signing off. Good bye.
See original article here.
Swami: Now now Mr.Current, I think everybody know what sort of a GURU I am.
Current Slapper: Yes, of course! Hello and welcome to our show Swamiji.
Swami: Thank you, Current. By the way did you know that your name breeds a form of violence, which is wrong and prohibited according to Sanathana Dharma?
Current Slapper: You mean ‘Slapper’?
Swami: Of course, my child. That is a form of violence which is not allowed in Sanathana Dharma.
Current Slapper: What is this, er, Sananthana Dharma Swamiji?
Swami (gets a bit fidgety before answering): We are gathering evidence and it will soon be handed over in the court.
Current Slapper: Excuse me swamiji?
Swami: Oh, Sorry. I thought this was the courtroom. I still have the hangover of that trial, you see. This was the only answer I gave during my interrogation and during the trial.
Current Slapper: Aah yes! Coming to the trial and the events preceding it, what do you have to say about all these allegations, especially the one about your illicit affair with actress Radhika?
Swami: You are grossly mistaken my child. The affair was with Ranjitha.
Current Slapper: Aha! Caught in your own words swamiji! That was a ‘booby trap’ I set to catch you. Not very different from the one set by Ranjitha herself! <Self supporting little chuckle> So you do admit to this relationship?!
Swami: Of course. We were in one of my relation’s ships. It was my uncle’s actually. He gave it to me as a gift a long time ago. I’ll show it to you sometime.
Current Slapper: I meant about the relationship that you and Ranjitha had and what you admitted to!
Swami: I’m afraid I don’t know what you are talking about, child.
<Swami goes into a meditative trance. >
Current Slapper: Speak up Swamiji. What do you have to say to your other devotees, especially the ones of the fairer sex, who feel cheated by this affair of yours?
Swami: <Deep intake of breath> I request them to be patient. Their turn will come soon…er… I mean their turn at experiencing justice.
Current Slapper: Very well. Now, coming to your childhood days, what was the first vision which enlightened you and made you choose the spiritual path?
Swami: It is a very interesting story actually. It happened when I was 15. During one of my routine hours of meditation on a hillock, I happened to witness the mating of two rats. That was the first vision I had. It aroused me, I mean, it aroused something in me. That was the day I decided to divest my earthly vests and interests.
Current Slapper: Vests?
Swami: Of course! Haven’t you have seen the videos?
Current Slapper: Videos?
Swami: Yes. Of my satsangs where I have nothing but a few saffron robes on. You were thinking of the other video, weren’t you? Naughty boy you are!
Current Slapper: Well, er, not really sir. But coming back to the point; Fascinating! So rats were an inspiration. And what was your occupation before this moment of illumination?
Swami: I was a barber. <A reminiscent smile>
Current Slapper: Why the smile, Swamiji?
Swami: My occupation, in fact, was a source of enlightenment as well.
Current Slapper: Could you please elaborate on that?
Swami: You see child, when I was a barber I used to be responsible for the hair style of so many people. But I soon realized that how much ever I styled others there was no way that I could style myself. For this I had to depend on another barber. That irked me and was one of the main factors responsible for my transformation into a SELF STYLED GODMAN!!
Current Slapper: How inspiring! But why do you call yourself GODMAN? Don’t you think it is for the public to give you that title?
Swami: Of course. That’s why I publically gave myself that name.
Current Slapper: No sir. I mean, shouldn’t it be given to you by the public?
Swami: Of course. In fact, they were partly responsible for the title. You see, they believed that I was a MAN and I believed that I was GOD. So, in the end I declared myself GODMAN satisfying myself and the public.
Current Slapper: That’s one way of putting it! But in a recent press release I read a statement made by you that you are impotent and hence not a MAN…
Swami :< Triumphant smile> so what does that leave us with?
Current Slapper : < with a look of sudden realization dawning on him> GOD???
The café is filled with blazing light and a hallow rises above the head of our guest. Current Slapper and the other crew members are speechless with shock and fall at the feet of Swami who goes back to his trance…chanting a few choice verses of Sanathana Dharma…
Current Slapper: So there you have it folks! An ‘uplifting’ experience! Swami Paramahamsa Nithyananda in all his glory. Here’s food for thought, with Swamiji admitting that he is not a man, is he the new ‘Baba She-gal?’ Chew on it. Until next time, this is Current Slapping signer off. I mean Current Slapper signing off. Good bye.
See original article here.
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